Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Owl City, Jay Asher, and a poem

wow! its almost the 2nd quarter of the year!
lately, i've been listening to a lot of Owl City and Say Anything and Taylor Swift and Demi Lovato... just a lot of music.

Owl City, if you don't know, is awesome!

"If My Heart Was A House"

"The Bird and The Worm"


"Hello Seattle"

"Strawberry Avalanche"

I was gonna post a Taylor Swift song called "Permanent Marker" but my blog wont let me cuz of the formatting or something. But I sincerely suggest you check it out. It's awesome!

So, i read this book a couple years ago, called "13 Reasons Why" and i recently reread it. WARNING: it's not for the faint of heart. and im not talking about gore or smut. no, i'm talking teen suicide. so, if u want, go ahead and check it out, cuz it really is heart-wreching.

now, this is the only place where i feel like i can be myself, so i wanna post a poem i wrote in Mrs. Castillo's fifth period today becuz a couple kids who will not be named made my day even worse. to start, i was being compared to my sister all day, ppl saying that if i was just a little more like her i'd have more friends or i'd be remotely tolerable. and that just sucked. cuz no one likes to be compared to their sibling.
and then these kids in Science decided that it would be funny for joke about suicide, cutting, and depression. that was the olive on the crap sandwich that was my day. wawho.
so, i wrote this poem while they were pretending to cut with rulers and saying "only a retarded person would cut" and shit like that. oh, and groaning and moaning all over the place sarcastically, like cutting isn't that painful. HA!

Here it is:


Today makes me want
to curl up and die,
to forget about everything,
to live without pain and
hatred and
Today makes me cry
silent and fury filled tears,
for those who didn't make it
through today,
and those who won't make it
through tomorrow.

Today makes my heart shrivel
just a little more
with the sadness that i've seen,
and the sadness that i've felt.
Today makes me ashamed to be
with the anger and the
untrustworthy people
that parade around,
thinking they are justified.
Today is killing me,
just a little more...than yesterday.

Today will become yesterday,
and tomorrow will become today.
The days won't stop.
The days won't stop.
And because
the days won't stop,
i might.
Because everyday,
feels the same.
It all feels the same.

The same heart-wrenching
the same sickening realizations,
and the same thoughts.
The thoughts of suicide,
the thoughts of blood,
the thoughts of pain.
That is today.
That is everyday.